Uh-Oh...A Fork In The Road

As I sit here and write this post today, I can honestly say that I now face less struggle with the fork in the road when it comes to nutrition. Let me explain. When I was growing up, like most of us, I didn't really think too much about what I ate. I was a skinny and very active kid in my teens & 20's so "eating healthy" was certainly not a priority for me. I played sports throughout school and even after graduating college, I was still pretty active so nothing was off the table (no pun intended) when it came to eating. In my culture (I am Italian), eating great foods was customary. My mom & grandmother constantly presented me with amazing choices of delicious foods such as lasagna, fettuccine alfredo, homemade pizzas and thick, rich desserts to name a few. There was also no such thing as portion control. If we had guests coming over, there was enough food prepared to feed an army. Again I didn't really think about it. Then, something interesting started to happen as I got closer to 30. I started to notice small & subtle changes, such as my clothes getting tighter. I remember going from a pant size of 32 waist to a 34 and then a 36 within a few years. Shirts that used to fit great, were getting tight around my next and chest. These things although noticeable, didn't send an immediate signal, that maybe I should look at how I was eating. I was still exercising on a routine basis and thought that maybe I was gaining more muscle which was the reason for having to go up in clothing size. It wasn't until I got to age 40 that it finally sank in. I had just been promoted to a district sales manager for my company and had to go into the corporate office for training. During the training, pictures were taken of the class. When I got the chance to look at them, I was in complete shock...and not in a good way. Have you ever noticed that you can walk by a mirror every day and see a completely different version of yourself than what you see in a picture? Especially if you didn't take the picture. You just happen to be scrolling by some photos that someone else took. You're looking at this person and all of a sudden you realize, wow...that's me. Pictures don't lie, especially for me. What I saw in those work photos was a heavy individual with a rounded face and chubby cheeks, plus a spare tire around my waist. For the first time in my life, I knew I needed to do something about my weight. March 2000...This was where my adventure with weight loss began; where I began to take notice of what I was putting in my mouth.

So what does this have to do with a fork in the road? Well, this is where I began to focus on choices. Do I eat this or eat that? Should I go to this party because I know that there's going to be a lot of food that isn't really healthy? My wife wants to go out to eat. We're going to a bar...should I drink? Yes, lots of forks in the road....lots of choices for me to make. Like most people, I did what I "thought" to be the right way to go about this. Eliminate everything unhealthy, watch what I put in my mouth, cut calories and I should be good to go....RIGHT? Well, this would work for a short period of time. A few weeks would go by, I was really disciplined, and losing a few pounds. But, that "discipline" wasn't without "temptation." I don't know about you, but for me, it seemed that whenever I "couldn't have something because I was on a diet," miraculously, that food would be EVERYWHERE!

So this is probably a good place to ask the question...have you ever been on a diet and someone says something like, "Hey do you want to go and get some pizza?" You immediately say, "No, I'm on a diet, and I'm not allowed to have that." Well, let me ask you another question, "Who is not allowing you to have it?" If you're an adult my guess would be, no one is telling you that you "can't" have something. The point I'm trying to make, is that words we tell ourselves matter. They matter A LOT! The reason I was so focused on foods that were unhealthy choices and would see them everywhere, was because I kept telling myself I wasn't allowed to have them. Ever been told as an adult that you're not allowed to have or do something? What's the first thing you do? Yep, you go and have or do what the person said you couldn't. Same thing with telling yourself that you're not allowed to eat something. Eventually, you will cave into your cravings.

This is where another fork in the road would appear to me. Now that I gave in to eating this unhealthy food that wasn't on my diet, do I get back on track, or do I just figure that I failed and now I can go back to eating whatever I want? For me, being a perfectionist, once I blew the diet, I was off to the races. All of the positive work I had done was gone and the unhealthy eating patterns were back. In return for this decision, I was given all of the weight I had lost back, plus some additional for good measure. This routine and the cycles of yo-yo dieting & would continue for the next 18 years. Do you know what the definition of insanity is? It's doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. OK...call me insane!

Fast forward to today...I'm now 59 years old and quite arguably in the best shape of my life; physically, mentally and emotionally. What changed? ME! I changed how I see...and approach my health. Now, when I come to that fork in the road, I am confident that I am making the right choice as to which way I go. Here are 2 things that has given me the power & control over food. Something I had struggled with for nearly 20 years.

1. I've eliminated the words, "Can't & Not Allowed" when making decisions about food and replaced them with, "I choose to...or I choose not to..." After all, it is my choice. No one is telling me I can't have something. Just a simple tweak to the words I use has empowered me to make decisions based on how I feel. If I choose to have an unhealthy meal, I own that decision and now know that I can just as easy choose to then get back on track the very next time I eat. I finally realized using words like "can't and not allowed" set me up to fail. Once I "disobeyed" these words, psychologically it felt like I should suffer some consequence because I didn't "deserve" to be successful. Try this for yourself and see if by just changing what you say makes a difference on the outcome.

2. I either win or learn...there is no losing. In the past, dieting was an all-or-nothing event for me. As long as I was eating the "right" foods each and every meal, I was on point. But, eat the "wrong" food just once and that was it. Game over! I lost everything I had accomplished up to that one "slip up." What I realize now and focus on, is that there really is no losing and no failure. The journey will continue on. Now, I see accomplishments as victories, even small steps forward are positive achievements. When I happen to take a step back (for example, not eating the "right" type of food), I look for a learning. Why did I do what I did? What was my body trying to tell me it needed? When a situation arises like this in the future, how can I possibly avoid the trigger? These are all questions I now ask myself so that I can be more prepared in the future. This has really helped me emotionally get through a lot of the guilty feelings I used to have when I felt like I had sabotaged all the hard work I put into trying to eat right.

I hope you found this post useful and if you've ever struggled with a fork in the road, I'd love to hear how you navigated it. If any of this resonates with you, hopefully some of the things I now use to make positive changes will also work for you.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email me nextlevelperformanceinstitute@gmail.com. You can also leave comments below or if you're looking to join a community of like minded people, go to the Next Level Performance Facebook Group Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2313929212027567/, and join. We'd love to have you.