Are You A Slave To Your Inner Critic?

In my last post, "How To Work From The Inside Out," I started to discuss the Foundation Principles, namely Mindset & True Motivation. I mentioned that within this principle there are 3 things I focus on and practice daily in creating healthy habits that keeps me energized and moving in the right direction towards my transformation. They are:

1. Mindset

2. Positive Thinking and silencing my "Inner Critic"

3. Knowing my TRUE WHY's

I shared information on mindset in the last post and how people exhibit either a growth or a fixed mindset and I provided a useful resource for you to see which type of mindset you have. In this post, I want to take this concept one step further by exploring Positive vs Negative thoughts which, in my opinion can make or break your success, whether in improving your health, relationships, career, etc. It's the power of creating positive thoughts that forms how you see and act/react to things that will take your success to the next level. So let's begin.

In the past, my way of thinking was always about what I "couldn't" do. "I can't run that fast," "I don't think I will be able to make my workout this morning," I shouldn't eat carbs because they will make me gain weight." And the list can go on and on. Not only did I think this way...(and in full transparency...I still catch myself doing this), I would say these things out loud to myself. I've also called myself some pretty horrific names such as "idiot," "stupid," "moron," "klutz," while laughing about it as if it was OK. Does this sound familiar to you? Have you ever found yourself in a position that I describe above? If so, let me introduce you to your Inner Critic. Arguably the most powerful voice you will ever hear. For some people, the inner critic is a a voice from someone you know in your past such as your mom or dad, a friend, or maybe an old manager that might have really been hard on you. For me, it was a mixture of all of these plus seeing and hearing others around me spouting critical things out loud to others around them. Back in the day, we all thought this was funny and innocent. However, as I have learned, these shaped the way I think, not only about myself, but of others. I cannot tell you how often (even today although now, I am quick to catch what I am doing or saying) in a day I would "condemn" myself or others for the simplest things. It was just "natural" for me to think this way.

I first learned of the inner critic during my studies to become a Health & Wellness coach. As I began to learn how powerful this "little, silent" voice was, I started to see (especially in myself) how much damage these thoughts caused and the limitations to progress and improve in oneself they created. As I started to prepare for my transformation and was researching what changes I wanted to implement into my program, I knew that changing the way I thought needed to be a priority. I needed to take notice and be mindful of the way I thought not only about myself, but others as well. I needed to OWN POSITIVE THINKING. But how was I going to do this? Easy to say, not as easy to do. So I began to break down some of the common things I would negatively say or think and 'categorize" them in order to try and create a few distinct buckets. Over time I found that I had 4 core areas of focus that I wanted to work on and change:

It was all-or-none. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I saw things in terms of black & white and felt that I was "no good" unless I was perfect. I also saw others in the same way. "Why can't they just do it this way...the right way?"

Total negative thinking. Focusing on the "can'ts" and "shouldn'ts" came naturally to me and limited my ability to see the whole picture.

Seeing the result before starting the process. Before I even would try something, I would tell myself what the outcome would be and guess what? Yep, it was generally negative. "Why does my wife want to go to that restaurant, I'm not going to like that food,"

Magnifying or minimizing. Dramatically overestimating the chances of something bad happening, would be magnifying a situation. Thoughts such as, "I got a good grade on that exam because fortunately for me, the professor asked all of the questions I knew the answers to," would be minimizing and accomplishment.

Now that I knew where I wanted to focus my energy and change these negative thoughts into positive one's, how was I going to do this? For me, I needed something that would be simple and easy to do. So I made the decision to work on 2 things that would create more awareness/mindfulness to what I was saying and begin to change the way I saw myself and others (more for the positive):

I choose to have a positive attitude and change the way I think about things

I am responsible for my own happiness and I need to own my positive thoughts in order to create the happiness I want. I will show gratitude for everything I have in my life and also for all of the beauty around me. OK so here's what I mean by this. I will use a real example that is specific to me...and I'm sure some of you as well. I'm driving home from work when all of a sudden, all I see are brake lights ahead. I cannot get off the road I'm on and I still have 20 minutes or so before I make it home. Now my immediate reaction would be to get upset and start cursing and throwing a fit about how long it's now going to take for me to get home. The longer I sat in the traffic, the more "pissed off" I would get (and sometimes I still do). In the past, I would see all of the negatives to the situation and come to some conclusion before I actually understood the process. Knowing what I now know, I have a choice to make. I can stay in the negative, which isn't going to change the traffic pattern, or I can find a way to focus on positive things. Although I still struggle with this, I have become more aware and mindful before I quickly react negatively. I use a simple tool to help me change my paradigm and prepare me for these types of events that occur on a daily basis. The tool I use is simply called "The Positive Thought Replacement Worksheet," and I've put it on the resource page free for you to download. I cannot tell you the difference in how I am now starting to see things by just taking a few minutes a day to practice with this resource. Please download it and take a few minutes a day to think of all of the negative thoughts your inner critic shares with you and look for ways to turn them around. You will be amazed at how quickly you begin to catch yourself and quickly change your approach. I promise this is a "GAME CHANGER."

I will use positive affirmations in order to positively change my self-talk

"I," though only one letter, is a very powerful and potent word; be very careful how you use it. We have to identify our negative self talk and begin replacing it with positive affirmations. For example, I replaced "I hate getting up 2 hours early to exercise before work" with "I am grateful to be able to get a healthy start to my day." Changing our self talk will eventually lead to positive changes in our behavior. Here are 3 things I do to make positive affirmations more effective & powerful:

First: I make a list of all of my "negative" qualities

Second: I created an affirmation on the positive aspect of my self-judgement based on each of these qualities

Third & Most Important: I write each of them out on a post-it note and stick them somewhere that I will routinely see them (for example, my bathroom mirror). I also speak each affirmation out loud three times a day (when I am getting ready for work, mid-day and when I am brushing my teeth at night).

I usually prioritize and keep the list to a maximum of 5 core thoughts I am trying to positively change so that I can focus attention on them. Once they become positive behaviors, I may begin replacing one or more with other negative thoughts I want to change.

I look forward to hearing what you are doing to make positive changes to your mindset. This will not only help me to continue to grow & move to the next level, but will help others who struggle with their inner critic as well.

You can leave comments at the bottom of this post, go to the Next Level Performance Facebook Group Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2313929212027567/, or drop me an email at nextlevelperformanceinstitute@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading (and sharing)

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