Losing My Dad May Have Saved My Life

It all started when I was 17 years old. As I was playing in a high school baseball game and standing on the pitcher's mound waiting for the batter to settle in, I looked into the crowd. I noticed many familiar faces, friends, teammate's moms & dads, and especially my mom who never missed a game. Right then, looking at my mom, an eerie feeling came over me, and it was at that moment I realized I would never see my dad again. Nine years earlier when I was about to turn 8, my dad died of a massive heart attack. He had just turned 39 years old two days prior. As an 8-year old, I didn't comprehend or fully understand that my dad was gone forever. No more family TV, him reading to me and my brother before bed, or just waiting to see him appear for dinner after a long day’s work. It wasn't until that night, standing on the mound that something came over me...I missed my dad. He'd never see me play baseball, go the prom, graduate high school or know that I received a baseball scholarship to college. He wouldn’t be at my wedding or see his grandchildren born. We would never celebrate those things together, and I would never have the chance to make him proud of me. Don't get me wrong, my mom was amazing and did everything she could to bring me and my brother up the best she could. But I was now at the age where I could really use my dad.

It was then, at the age of 17 that I made a promise to myself that I would do everything possible to be around a long time for my future wife, children and grandchildren. I would never let what happened to my dad, happen to me. And I took that promise very seriously at that age. Now back in the late 70's, the health & wellness markets were no where close to what they are now. I relied on playing sports to stay in great shape and keep focused on the goal: my promise. Nutrition information wasn't as prominent as it is today. I didn’t really know too much at that point, so I just ate whatever, without any real impact to my weight (at least at that age).

As the years went on, I graduated college, eventually got married and had children. I began getting busy with family and career and inevitably my exercise took a back seat. In other words, "Life got in the way!" Graduating college, I weighed 175 pounds, standing 5’8” tall and had some good quality muscle for all the training I did for sports.

In 2000, I turned 40 and was closing in on 200 pounds. I’d consistently be on an "exercise and diet roller coaster", losing some weight over a few weeks, only to revert to old habits, gaining it all back, plus some. This process continued for the next 18 years. By now, my children were grown and married, and my wife and I had some amazing grandchildren. I was also at my heaviest weight ever…at my 58th birthday, I weighed 236 pounds. What happened? What about the promise I made to myself? Good news…I was still here. Although I had successfully outlived my dad, my promise to be around for my kids and grand kids (in my opinion), were in jeopardy. It was time for me to reevaluate my situation and find a new way to make a permanent change, because doing the same thing I had done the past 18 years wasn't working.

Although I had made a promise to myself back when I was 17, I never really thought through exactly what that promise meant to me. I never really uncovered my true why! The deep gut-wrenching reasons for wanting to remain healthy for a long time. It wasn’t until I began this process of finding my true why that I learned a real transformation never starts on the outside. Up until this point, it was always about how I looked on the outside; the physical appearance. This time was going to be different. I was going to start by working on the mental & emotional components; from the inside.

Identifying the real, underlying reasons why I wanted to transform has given me the motivation and energy to stay focused, especially when I feel like stopping. Sure, I have plenty of days where I don’t feel like working out, or I’d rather have a full-blown day of eating junk food. However, now that I know my true purpose for change, I stay focused and poised for success. I’m not saying I don’t ever eat unhealthy food, or miss a workout. I do. I’ve now learned though that it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress. I don’t beat myself up for those days where I choose not to be on point & “perfect.” It’s OK. Because I know that I will be back on track the very next meal or workout session. I now know my whys.

So, as of this post, my promise is back in tact for a year now, and my commitment to myself is stronger than ever. Through this blog, I am going to share what I am learning through this journey including the 6 principles I follow to keep me focused and progressing. These include:

1. Motivation & Mindset

2. Goal Setting & Planning

3. Community & Accountability

4. Nutrition

5. Exercise

6. Recovery

I look forward to sharing these with you and hope that you will find them of value. I also want to hear what's working for you and where you may be struggling. There's strength in community and I hope we can work together to accomplish our goals.

Speaking of community, I created a Facebook page for anyone interested in sharing ideas or questions. In future posts, I would love to begin answering questions from you. Here is the Facebook link to the group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2313929212027567/. You can also email me at nextlevelperformanceinstitute@gmail.com.